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VOLUME XXVIII No. 32
Tagbilaran City, Bohol, Philippines
February 16, 2014 issue
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The Importance of Home Core Values

 

With the boom in the Tourism industry seemingly comes the rise in criminality many of which are drug-related. Both may not be exactly parallel with each other, but it is not difficult to surmise that cultural amalgamation and the influx of alien values have their negative side effects, especially when no tenets are drawn for guidance, and no regulatory provisions are promulgated. The upsurge in criminality (a husband gunning down his wife and children before torching themselves inside the family car; a wife hacking her husband; or a son raping his own mother) is nauseating, especially to a place like Bohol which, for generations, have been a favorite destination for families settling for good.

In the previous interview I made with Anne Mariquit Derekito-Oppus (ADO) last year, she was vehement in her assertion that the key to the problem is the home. That the basic and core values a child imbibe in his growing up years come from his parents and members of the family. In this interview, which took place in “Nangutana Lang,” my 30-minute program in DYRD-ZD (6:30 PM) on Friday (February 7), Kit Oppus reinforced what contentions she had expanded before. She knows that it will still be a tough climb for 2014.

LMP: Sa miaging duha ka semana, mora'g makapanlimbawot sa balahibo ang atong nahibaw-an, tungod kay wa man ni mahitabo sa unang panahon. Usa ka amahan ang gihurot pagpatay ang miyembro sa iyang pamilya, ug gisunog. Duna'y usa ka inahan nga gi-rape sa iyang anak. Diha'y usa ka bana nga gipatay sa iyang asawa. Dili ba ni angay ika-ulaw, o ikahadlok? What is your own point of view, as a mother?

ADO: This is very alarming. I have been a woman and child's right advocate for a long, long time. Dili ni siya first time nga nakadungog ko. But, first time to happen in my own Province and City. Kadtong nahitabo sa pamilya nga gipatay ug gisunog, dili ko katuo gyod. What came into mind was just to say a little prayer, that God will save all of us, because it can happen to anyone. The husband was an ordinary businessman; they were a very young couple. In 2001, usa ko sa mingbalik sa Bohol, because I wanted a safe haven for my children. I want them to be schooled in a very good atmosphere, ang mga neighbors kasaligan, kay in Manila, gubot kaayo. Daghan kaayong nanganhi na, mga anak ug Bol-anon, who finally decided to settle in Bohol. Pero looking back, what I wrote in my vision was, “I want to leave Tagbilaran a better place, than when I found it.” I want my children to inherit Tagbilaran, better than what it was before. Sa una, kon manuroy o mang-disco mi, manglakaw lang mi. It was so safe for me, ang ako lang kahadlokan dili tawo, kon dili iro. I have been talking to my friends in the advocacy, and to include the Church, alarmed pod sila because it now boils down to one thing: naa kono'y common denominator niining mga hitabo-a.

LMP: What is it?

ADO: Drug addiction. Sa ilang lantan-aw naa gyo'y co-relation sa drugs. Usahay maka- question kita, will family or business trouble be an enough reason, for the father to kill his wife and children? So, there must be something more. Unya mas makatuo ta if it is linked to drugs, kay kon mag-drugs ang usa ka tawo, he doesn't choose his victims.

LMP: Yeah, and if somebody is already under drugs, wa na gyod na'y hustong panghuna-huna.

ADO: The incident in Baclayon has something to do with drugs also. This is not the first time in Bohol. There is a case now sa BCIC, a 40-year old mother was raped by his son, who is in his 20s. Sa mga lugar nga we think, nga mingaw, hapsay, old-fashioned pa, naa na pod ning mga hitabo-a. Kon atong tan-awon, it boils down to family. The problem has to be addressed by the family. I have a very good friend who used to work with the United Nations; taga-Carmen ni siya and she is back in the Philippines. She is now the Secretary-General of Mother's Heart Network. Sa iyang pagsusi-susi, kay policy determination man tong sa UN niya, nakakita siya sa tanang balaod sa ubang countries on child and women protection. Sige ra kuno ug plano ang mga policy makers, but they are missing out the whole point, nga it is already happening. So, wala pa mapasar ang balaod nag-evolve na ang problema. Sa Carmen, she is supporting a community, kay sa iyang tan-aw, the solution to all these cannot be solved alone.

LMP: Is she doing it on her own?

ADO:It is a Foundation based in Manila, unya siya'y Secretary-General. She left the United Nations, but she is taking advantage of her network sa UN. As soon as she comes home, I will introduce her to you, para magka-istorya mo. Nag-start siya ug launch sa Network, two weeks ago at BISU (Bohol Island State University). Ang iyang gi-lobby karon is, to put family and the role of the mother as part of the curriculum. The Mother's Heart Network has something to do with a soft spot sa solutions sa problema nato karon. Sa iyang tan-aw, dili na balaod ang kinahanglan kay we have enough laws to protect us. It is touching the family, the heart of the woman, the mother. Nalipay siya kay BISU is already into it. Naa sila'y Memorandum of Agreement with Dr. Magante, that it will be part of the curriculum.

LMP: Niining puntoha, sayon nga himoon sa BISU, because state college or university has its own charter. Sila'y magbuot sa ilang curriculum. Lisod sa ubang eskwelahan kay mananghid pa sa itaas.

ADO: Yeah. She was so happy nga anaa'y nidawat dayon, kay they are testing this. In fact, I attended one of their workshops. They open it to men and women. They talk about... unsa man gyo'y role ni Adan ug Eva sauna. Going back to the basics, dili na kuno ni madala kon balaod lang. We have to appeal to each and everyone. Diha'y mga Barangay Officials nga mga mothers nga ni-attend pod, kay ila po'ng gi-wish nga sa ilang barangay, maghimo sila ug ordinance nga ma-touch base sa mga Purok. She has a partner who is also helping the UN in this advocacy.

LMP: So, this is a UN project?

ADO:It used to be, but they are doing it in the Philippines already. They are based in Quezon City, Manila, but they are taking advantage of the network they have outside the country for funding.

LMP: As you mentioned earlier, one of the solutions to this problem, pamilya gyod.

ADO:Yes, it is family. I would like to share to you my favorite book by Robert Folgum, “Everything I needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten.” It is true, unsa may bag-o diay? Ang giingon sa Kindergarten, be honest, don't talk to strangers, when you cross the street, look left and right, and many others. All these things are very basic, but sometimes, they are the most difficult thing to do. Katong incident nga gisunog ang iyang pamilya, naa ko'y friend niingon nga, “Basi'g kuwang ‘to ug ampo.” I also heard another friend who knows the couple niingon siya nga, “Sige ra ba gyod ‘to sila ug simba.” I said, “Sometimes, we only go to Church tungod kay compulsory o naa'y laing rason.” Para nako, maypa ug dili na lang moadto.

LMP: Anyway, it is worth-mentioning, kay ganiha when I called Mayor Baba Yap, didto siya sa Divine Mercy Chapel kay aduna'y misa nga gihimo for the family of James Co. So at least, sa mga pag-ampo sa mga tawo, hopefully, duna'y mahitabo sa mga namati pod, sama kanato. Life is very basic.

ADO: Correct. Importante gyod ang pamilya, kay kon strong ang foundation, wherever you go, madala gyod na. It is also important to have a link with your children, and other members of the family. Diha'y announcer sa TV, si Sheryl Cosem, she was interviewed this morning, ang ilang topic was, unsa'y advantages ug disadvantages with having a father or brother and sister leaving for the States, for greener pasture. They have discussed nga wherever you go, it is still greener, depende nimo. Bisa'g moadto ka ug Amerika, importante nga you would take advantage sa communication, to talk not only what is new, but to go back on, “Kumusta na man ka?” I remember the first time I was there, niingon ko sa akong sister, “Na-notice na ko usa na ko ka semana diri, duna mo'y lami nga altar, pero wa gyod ta kapangadye bisan kas-a.” So, we started praying. We should introduce to them, what it used to be. It all boils down sa atong roots, upbringing, breeding.

LMP: So, it is not a question of the place or anything. We should go back on how the family is, the orientation. The other things like the Church, school, suporta lang.

ADO:That is why, dili man sa ingon nga bias ko, kay I guest in your program, but this is one of the few programs, nga nalipay ko kaayo, kay you talk about all these things. Para nako, importante gyod ni siya kaayo. We are missing the whole point if we just talk about niadtong sa itaas lang. I visited BCIC last December, we have 80% of the cases like incest, so it happens in the home. It is not new, but makugang lang ko kay it is still there up to now. Ang usa kono sa mga rason nganong sige gihapon ning hitabo-a, tungod kay wala'y na-priso, because the family members tend to file cases. Naa sila'y gitawag nga cycle of violence, nga once you have been a victim, you will probably be a victim again or you will victimize. That is why, we are talking to these women, who are victims, nga there is life after here.

LMP: Isip usa ka inahan, sa imong pamilya pananglitan, wa ba ka mahadlok?

ADO: Kanunay gyod, Sir Loy. When my eldest turned 12 years old, I started to have fears. She is a Taekwondo Black Belter, so physically, dili siya kayang mabinuangan. Pero, dili na enough. Ang akong gigamit nga shield is prayer.

LMP: Sa imong na-obserbahan, pila kaha ka porsyento sa mga Bol-anon nga makama-o pang mangadye, the way you pray?

ADO:I hope daghan pa, Sir Loy. Dili man pod ‘ta makahibawo kay puno man pod ang atong simbahan.

LMP: Nahinumdon ko pag-abot nako dinhi sa Tagbilaran, mingaw kaayo. Inig about ug alas 6 o 7 sa gabie, iro nalang ang magtikaw-tikaw sa karsada. Inig bagting sa alas 6, ang tanan moatubang sa simbahan, mangadye. Karon, nawala na.

ADO:Dili naman madunggan, kay sa mga kabalayan kusog kaayo ang TV, ug uban pa. Karon akong namatikdan, anaa'y mga rosaryohan nga gihimong bracelet, necklace, how I wish they will use it. In the same manner, kanang atong National Anthem. Sa States, for as long as they hear it, dili kinahanglan nga apil ka sa ceremony, but you have to stand. Pero diri sa atoa, bisan pa'g naa lang sa pikas dili gyod motindog. That is why, we have to go back to the basics again.

LMP: Your parting words.

ADO:Sir Loy, once again, thank you for the opportunity. Ang ako lang, we are not being self-righteous here. We just want to appeal to our citizenship, especially our mothers and fathers, let us please keep our family values intact. Let's teach our children, what it used to be, and what is should be. Let us not give-up on our parental authority, we have that with us, and God is with us. We hope that the family now is the center of everything that we do, and that prayer should be part of that. All types of transgressions, especially heinous crimes are offshoots of several factors, with the child's abode serving a cocoon in his pupal stage. The motivating parameter could be economics, which is one problem all Presidents of the country vowed to solve, but which nobody succeeded. The social dimension contributes to the convoluted plot. Add the religious fervor, or lack of it; and you have a community bankrupt in morality and Godliness. Spice it up with a political climate manipulated by a few dominant names with no qualms about righteousness and ethical standards, and you have a sonny and sordid mix, so unpalatable it could make you puke.

(Website: www.loypalapos.com ; Email: loy.pal@gmail.com ; Cellphone: 09981701129)

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