The martyr in the real sense of its meaning is too cruel to describe if taken to mean that he or she is somebody who suffers persecution and death for refusing to renounce, or accept, a belief or cause, usually religious. For God’s sake, that is not the point we are trying to drive at as suggested in the title of this essay. Whatever, just give us the liberty to do so as we find no other appropriate word our wife had gone to, when she was alive. Yes, she was, as far as this philandering husband was concerned, a martyred wife. Much as we remember our days together, we, too, commemorated her martyrdom as we marked her birthday last April 11. A small party which we shared with close friends was more than enough to remember as we celebrated her birthday with the celebrator out there in the great beyond. Rare may be for a celebrator to be absent as the occasion was marked on her behalf, but we are consoled with the thought that out there in heaven, she is thankful that we still remember her fond memories even in death. You would think we find relish in remembering a wife who suffered in silence because of our indiscretions.

Think not.

Truth to tell, now that she was gone, never have we had that feeling of guilt than these days that she is no longer around. How we miss her, now, that she is forever gone. Though it’s too late in the day to repent how we violated our marriage vows, it still pays to shed a tear or two if only to remember our times together when we did make the solemn pledge that come hell or high water through thick and thin, till death do us part. And death did exact a heavy toll on the life of the wife on January 30, 2011 resulting in our parting of ways, leaving a husband unable to come to terms to reality that he had lost a partner for good. As we try to heal the pain of losing, all we did is remember the happy days together although, at times, the feeling of remorse is becoming too painful to contemplate. At any rate, what started well, ended well. In retrospect, this repentant husband may be guilty of straying from the path of righteousness brought about by temptations we cannot resist, but at the end of the day, we are comforted that the remarkable memory of a wife we so dearly missed is forever etched in our hearts through the passage time.